Forgive When They're Not Sorry?

Are Christians called to forgive everyone who does them wrong?

Ben Midgeley addresses this question in a thoughtful piece in this month's Grace Magazine.

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I think the expectations upon victims can be unreasonable. I think the question we ought to ask is, "If God grants repentance, would you be prepared to forgive?"
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Jesus taught us to pray, "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sin against us." The little word "as" must mean "in the same way", not "at the same time". The way we obtain forgiveness is through faith, repentance and our claim in the atoning blood, so we cannot deny anybody else who seeks forgiveness in the same way. The willingness to forgive must be expressed and the actual forgiveness can come into operation when the right conditions prevail. The possibility of forgiveness remains there while simultaneously emphasizing the necessity of repentance first
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Reconciliation in any meaningful sense is impossible without repentance. Therefore, forgiveness ... is out of reach too without repentance as a component. However we need a safeguard against bitterness and a thirst for revenge that will fill the vacuum until forgiveness can be made effective. I like to think of this as "interim government" and I would call it mercy.

Mercy, as a disposition, stands in the place of of forgiveness until the conditions for forgiveness become possible. At the moment of repentance, forgiveness, which is the payload that mercy carries, is discharged and the person experiences not simply "not getting what they deserve" - mercy, but "getting what they don't deserve" - forgiveness. We should make a decision not to harm the offender, but to do him good, to be unaffected in that sense by his sinful actions. Then, should the offender ever come to appreciate that the door has been left open to him, one is ready, even glad to forgive. ... It is provisional forgiveness, a readiness to forgive, a willingness, a hope expressed ...
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Did God forgive me before the world began, or at Calvary, or when I was saved? Certainly he predestined me to experience his forgiveness, then he made actual provision for it, but it wasn't until I repented and believed that I knew the joy of my sins forgiven ...
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In summary - especially to those who struggle to forgive, or feel pressured to do so, or feel guilty if they can't, I would just ask, "Are you willing to forgive if that person repents?" I think this is at the heart of what "Father forgive them" means: a genuine willingness to forgive, and leaving the rest with God.